


(Just Like) Starting Over

by Sanshal



Series: Omega 'Verse [9]
Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alpha Jensen, Alpha Jensen Ackles, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha/Omega, Angst, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Attempted Abortion, Birthday, Birthday Party, Bottom Jared, Caring, Caring Jensen Ackles, Comfort/Angst, Complicated Relationships, Discussion of Abortion, Dubious Consent, Dubious Ethics, Dubious Morality, Forced Abortion, M/M, Minor Character Death, Miscarriage, Money, Mpreg, Non-Consensual Spanking, Non-Graphic Violence, Nursing, Omega Jared, Omega Jared Padalecki, Past Abortion, Post Mpreg, Protective Jensen, Reconciliation, Rough Sex, Self-Sacrifice, Separations, Slice of Life, Top Jensen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-02
Updated: 2018-12-08
Packaged: 2019-08-16 16:09:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 12,633
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16498763
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sanshal/pseuds/Sanshal
Summary: Jared had survived a severe medical condition as a pre-teen and been forced to take a certain medication well into his teens for the treatment. Now he is healthy... but the fact that the medication had a little known after-effect of turning alphas into omegas goes undetected in Jared's case till he applies for and gets selected for a highly competitive student-exchange programme.Now he is forced to give up his family and move in with 'his' alpha- a stranger chosen by the government whom he has never met before; but is expected to bear offspring for by the end of the yearThis part- As the birth of their children draws near, everything feels like it's changing... and Jared's not sure if it's for the better.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A/N- Title is from a John Lennon song.  Confession, I have never heard this song, but the title seems to fit this part of the story perfectly, so I thought... why not? *grin*
> 
> And this one's after a LOOOONG hiatus. Hope I've managed to do it justice and that you guys enjoy reading it.
> 
>    
> Oh, and there is mention of miscarriage and foetal death in chapter 2. Please be warned if this is a trigger for you.

 

(Just Like) Starting Over

 

 

 

 

\----------------------------------------------------

  
Jared paced the length of the kitchen (well, as much as he was able to, his given the state of his protruding abdomen) as he waited for Jensen to return after picking up his Dad from the airport. His nerves were on edge and the babies seemed to understand that, seeing as they stayed quiet for once. .. it was only recently he had begun to feel their movement, but once they’d started it was as though  the twins had discovered a favourite pastime- little arms and legs kicking up a storm on the inside... Hell, it had gotten so bad for the past week that Jensen had taken to carefully massaging the swell of his stomach every few hours in an effort to soothe them.

The chime of the doorbell roused him from his thoughts about babies and Jared sent up a quick prayer as he waddled over to the door to welcome the two men. Not wanting to get off on the wrong feet, he even went as far as crouching (awkwardly, not to mention painfully) to reverently touch the older man’s feet and then use the same hand to brush his own head to simulate reverently touching his head to the other’s feet. It was a slightly antiquated custom, but it had become one of Jared’s favourite traditions because it could be performed _by_ anybody and _for_ anybody- there were no demarcations of gender or rank or age for this ritual and while he’d always ‘liked’ it (He’d seen it as an effortless way of developing ‘ _abs of steel’_ back when he’d still believed himself to be an alpha. As one of the youngest members in his family, every family gathering meant he would be touching the feet of _at least_ twenty people and he modified the action so that he was virtually doing crunches while at the same time appearing to be a ‘ _such a well behaved boy’_ ) - the fact that it was something that even alphas were subjected to was like a balm on his soul under the current circumstances.

The older man uncharacteristically blushed at the gesture and pulled Jared into an embrace and it was only then that Jared noticed his scent, blurting: “You’re an omega!”

The man nodded uncertainly, a smile still hovering at the edges of his lips even as his brows furrowed worriedly and glanced at Jensen.

“You didn’t know?” The older omega enquired in surprise.

Jared shook his head before Jensen could reply, glancing between the two uncertainly, “Usually, people call their alpha parent ‘Dad’...”

“Oh, uhm yeah... well, I call my omega father Dad...” Jensen explained with a casual shrug, apparently unperturbed.

“And your... your Alpha-parent?” He couldn’t stop himself from uttering the question.

Jensen’s shoulder’s pulled taut and for a moment Jared feared that he’d over-stepped his bounds; but then the alpha wiped a hand over his mouth and met his eyes unflinchingly, “I-... I used to call him _Father_.”

“Oh,”

“Is this going to be a problem?” Jensen’s dad asked softly and Jared felt himself relax at the hesitant tone.

He turned back to the older man guiltily- _he hadn’t meant to make him feel unwelcome_ \- “Oh! No... Of course not! Please... do come in.”

The older man smiled at him as he stepped inside, “I don’t mean to challenge your place in this house, Son.”

“Jared. ... please, call me Jared?”

“Jared,” the older man agreed amiably.

He smiled, “Would you like me show you your room?”

“Ah, Jensen can do that,” The omega returned, “You should make sure you get plenty of rest in your condition,”

Jared turned beet-red at the words, brutally reminded of just _why_ it wasn’t a simple ‘family reunion’.

“I’m sorry, I seem to have upset you,” the omega murmured, cupping his cheek; the callused thumb rubbing apologetically over his cheeks.

“No... it-it’s fine.” He shook his head, trying to dial back his rising gorge. He’d forgotten that he wasn’t ‘ _family’_ with the way Jensen treated and cared for him... worse, discovering that his alpha’s Dad was actually an omega had made him relax and forget reality-... that it was the life he carried inside him that was ‘valuable’, not-not _him_. He wiped at his eyes discretely, “Its- its just that I’d forgotten that I was just a _hired womb_.”

“Jared.” Jensen’s voice was stern, reproach evident in each syllable.

“I’m sorry, _Alpha._ ” Jared spat, abruptly furious at himself and at the unfair world in general- as he turned on his heel and stormed away towards their room.

Jensen sighed and with an apologetic glance at his father, guided the older man to the guest suite.

“Trouble in paradise?” The omega asked with a small smile.

“Paradise? Hell, more likely. ... It’s- it’s not going to be paradise unless Jared has as much choice in choosing me as I did him.”

“You know that can’t happen while he is here with you, don’t you?”

Jensen sighed, “I know... I just-”

“You love him,” His father smiled.

The alpha’s eyes flew open, “What?!”

“You’ve fallen in love with your omega.”

“I-... I...” Jensen looked away, avoiding the question, “I guess I’d better check on him.”

The omega didn’t press the issue but Jensen still felt like the naive little boy he’d once been as he made his escape. The omega in the kitchen didn’t particularly help put his spirits at ease. He found Jared in front of the dresser staring at the alien swell of his abdomen. He had a hand splayed across the taut skin, periodically wincing at the sharp kicks from _inside_.

“Hey,” He whispered, leaning in to nuzzle at the younger male’s vulnerable throat as his arms came ‘round to embrace his young omega.

Jared blinked as though rousing from deep sleep at his voice and turned in his arms before voluntarily welcoming him into his space. “Hey... and uhm... I- I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

“For snapping at you in front of your father... I- I didn’t mean to ...undermine your authority?” his voice lilted up at the end with his uncertainty.

“Jared,” Jensen sighed, resting his forehead against the omega’s shoulder, “You really think I care about that?”

“No... but your Dad might.”

“Trust me he doesn’t. He’d be more concerned if you acted all meek and obedient around me.”

“So... he’s – he’s not a traditional omega?”

“He...” Jensen hesitated before finishing with an awkward: “- _was_. Things have been slowly improving since Father passed away. My- my father was a conservative man- _as you might have already guessed_...He uh- he believed that omegas are meant to obey alphas- the whole nine, you know? Dad never actually went against him, but he did make sure that I knew to trust my own judgement instead of falling victim to peer-pressure.”

“Oh, wow,”

“Yeah,” Jensen smiled, “Dad’s sort of my inspiration, you know? I wouldn’t be the alpha I am- the _man_ I am, without him.”

A laugh bubbled out of Jared, “I uh... I was talking about our kids actually, although yeah; what your dada accomplished is very impressive too.” Wordlessly he grabbed the alpha’s hand to guide it to just under his ribs where one of his children was practicing their kicks.

Jensen’s lips tilted up automatically as he felt the movement and he pressed back gently; for a long moment he just brushed his fingers to and fro on the spot before glancing up at Jared, “Seems our kids are rather active today; huh? I’m sorry my babies are being so difficult,”

The omega gaped at him but managed to pull up a smile as he leaned back awkwardly against the alpha’s chest, the angle more uncomfortable than usual because they were facing each other this time, “They are always active at this time of the day. I don’t mind... Besides, they’re _my_ kids too, Jen!”

“Yeah, but you wouldn’t be having them now if I hadn’t forced you-”

“I consented, remember? You told me that I would want it the next time you touched me when the TOC forced us together and you _did_... you made sure that I wanted it- wanted you. Remember? _I_ had to force you to touch me.”

“How are you so forgiving?”

“I’m not,” Jared denied, “I really don’t think I would have survived if I’d been paired with anyone else, Jensen. And I thank God every day that it was you that I was sent to.”

Jensen ducked his head, clearly uncomfortable at the compliment and gently guided him towards the bed, “You need to rest. Want me to see if I can calm ‘em?” the alpha asked, splaying his fingers over the lower curve of Jared’s stomach where the frequency of hits seemed to be the highest, “Hey kiddo, take it easy on your Papa...”

Jared shook his head, pushing the alpha’s hand away, “I like it.”

Jensen’s eyes narrowed playfully, “Really? The constant use of your mesenteries as a trampoline- you actually enjoy that?”

“It’s my last chance to interact with my babies,” Jared confessed with a shrug, “So yeah.”

“Hey,” Jensen turned him around so that he could look at his face, “Nothings gonna happen to you, Jared...I’ll ensure that you get the best care possible and-”

“It’s not that-” Jared interrupted.

“Oh... uh, so you’ve decided against nursing?”

Jared opened his mouth to reply and gasped at a particularly sharp kick.

“Easy,” Jensen whispered.

“Jen,” Jared grasped the alpha’s wrist, stopping him from walking away, and “Don’t make me, please? ... I don’t think I’ll survive if I have to give up my baby after I’ve gotten to know him...or her.”

“You think I’ll keep our child from you?” Jensen asked softly, his voice hurt.

“Well, you’re not exactly going to have a choice, are you?”

“I-I’ll wait for you... maybe you could come home after, you know?”

“After I give up another kid, you mean.”

“We could see if we can find an alpha willing to impregnate you and move on,” Jensen whispered, his eyes sparkling with hope, “That way you’ll get to come back to me even sooner.”

“And the child?”

“We’ll raise it... unless you wanted to give it up for adoption?”

“You’re willing to raise another alpha’s child?” Jared narrowed his eyes.

“The kid will be yours too, Jay”

The omega sighed; relieved that at least these children of his were assured of a safe upbringing even as his fingers curled protectively over his abdomen, “Wish you could father my next child too.”

The alpha’s eyes skittered away, “Me too,”

Jared’s gaze narrowed, “There is a possibility?”

“You already said no, Jay... its okay, I understand.”

“No...I... wait, what?!”

Jensen exhaled noisily before looking up to meet the omega’s gaze, “If you agree to nurse our baby, I could request you for another year... ” he trailed off, not needing to finish.

“They’d let me stay with you?” Jared asked hazel eyes wide with hope.

“But I won’t force you to nurse when you-”

“You’ll do that for me?”

Jensen’s hands spread over the stretched muscle, fingers tangling with his omega; “You really think I see you as _just_ a brood-mare?”

“I-”

“I want us to raise our babies together, Jay... I want you as my mate.”

Jared ignored the declaration for the moment, catching his alpha’s wrist as he sat, stopping the man from withdrawing. “What’ll happen if they’re omega?”

“Who?”

“Our kids,”

“We’ll love them irrespective. And protect them as much as we can... and make sure they know that they’ll have a home to come back to when- when...” He shrugged, unable to voice that particular nightmarish scenario.

“Promise?” Jared asked; this was something that had been bothering him for some time.

Jensen nodded readily, “I promise.”

Jared offered him a tremulous smile, “Thank you.”

The alpha returned his smile before leaving to set the table for lunch. Jared had expected it to be a stilted formal affair but found himself warming to the older omega (‘Call me Dad or Pops’, the man told him with an easy smile). His family surprised them with a visit later that day and Jared was nearly reduced to tears when his mom and Jocelyn and Jensen and Pops all pitched in to prepare dinner and refused to allow him to help. Even Nate seemed to be enthralled by his growing belly and spoke to his ‘ _nephews’_ till he was shooed away by Jared’s father. It was almost like being a real family.

 

  
While he initially resented not being allowed to accompany Jensen to his work the way he had been, he realized that coming back home from school was actually easier on his aching back. Pops always had some sort of light snack prepared for when he came back and Jared found himself warming to the older omega quickly. Speaking to Pops also allowed Jared to understand why Jensen was the way he was and he found himself quickly reliant on the older omega. No one in his family was an omega and he found Pops had some advice which his mom or Jocelyn wouldn’t have been able to provide. He felt ridiculously pampered as the older man took care of him, but still trusted only Jensen to apply the cream or help with his morning ‘cleaning’.

 

The day of birth arrived far too early for Jared and he almost wanted to beg Jensen to let him stay back. He managed to keep his lips sealed, but couldn’t keep from accepting the welcome comfort that the alpha’s arms around him provided. The birthing chambers were on the TOC’s grounds and Jared wished for the millionth time that he could’ve given birth at Doctor Beaver’s clinic... but rules were rules and though the kindly doctor would be there for the birth, it would predominantly be the TOC’s staff that handled it.

They denied Jensen entry after a certain point and Jared just _knew_ that things were going to get unpleasant for him. He wasn’t wrong.

The first indignity was having his clothes cut away- he wanted to scream in frustration and demand that he be allowed to take them off like a normal person, but no. They had to be _cut away._

He waited for those awkward TOC-issue robes, but then realized that he wouldn’t be getting any; apparently, the steel-collar that Jensen had attached – well, ‘ _been forced to attach’ was a more accurate description-_ to his neck was going to be his only ‘adornment’ till he gave birth. Horrified beyond belief and embarrassed by the forced nudity, Jared followed the ‘helper’ to what had the reassuringly named ‘Preparatory Room’ and felt tears well up as he realized he was to join the row of omegas already trussed up.

Aware that protesting would only worsen the situation, Jared mutely climbed up the few steps when ordered to and put his hands in the wooden pillory in front of him once he’d squatted down as commanded. The position forced his birthing hole open and he found himself wishing his hands had not been locked in the pillory so that he could cover his shame- but then again, that was precisely why the omegas were not allowed to have their hands free. He yelped when his feet were unceremoniously spread wider and his ankles cuffed to force him to maintain the uncomfortable and horribly humiliating position. Periodically TOC’s staff would walk down the rows of omegas, checking for dilation; but otherwise they were left alone. Time seemed to lose all meaning as the ominous ticking of the large wall-clock on one end of the room became the only companion to the bound omegas. The only other sound was of pained whimpers and bitten off moans as the omegas all squatted and waited to be deemed ready for birth. Occasionally another omega would be walked in and trussed up the same as them. Or someone would be deemed ready for birth and be freed of their bindings; the TOC’s staff uncaring about the omega’s cramping belly or the pins and needles from the forced squat making their steps even more awkward than usual as they hobbled slowly out of the room to the next stage of the birthing protocol.  
  
Every inch of him felt over-extended and cramped by the time they finally deemed him dilated enough for birth and released him from the ‘preparatory’ set-up. His legs were attached to the stirrups and spread painfully wide; and although a part of him cringed at the humiliating position, the rest of him was in too much pain to care. Having Dr. Beaver appear suddenly felt like a blessing and Jared relaxed some, knowing he was in good hands. A bit gag was shoved into his mouth and Jared knew then that he would not be given the respite of a pain-reliever... the actual birth passed in a blur of the most horrific pain he had ever experienced and the bustle of attendants from the centre itself. A loud wail filled the room suddenly before being joined moments later by its twin and Jared closed his eyes in relief, jerking them open again as he felt someone yank on his collar. He watched as the grey-garbed beta read through the neatly typed detail on the tag attached to his collar and filled in some forms.   
  
Jensen came in soon-after they moved him to a room, and although the man _had_ seen all of him before, Jared still felt self-conscious of his nudity and longed for a sheet to cover himself in.

“Hey,” The alpha greeted softly, pulling up a chair next to the bed.

“Hi,” He returned softly, “How’re the kids?”

“Both babies are doing great, Sweetheart. We have one alpha and a beta... so I guess that eases some of your worries, yeah?  Dad’s with them at the moment. I ... I came because I wanted to talk to you about something...”

Jared nodded, tiredly gesturing at the alpha to continue.

“Okay, so remember how you didn’t want to be assigned to another alpha?”

He nodded again, pulling back instinctively at the thought of being sent to the other alpha.

“What? What’s wrong?” Jensen demanded, not missing his terror.

“Someone... someone came to take a look at me already.” He admitted in a small voice, cringing at the memory of how the man had pinched his nipples and slipped a finger inside him. He’d been expecting Jensen at the time, but to have a stranger come straight into the birthing room before he’d even been cleaned up (with the same beta who’d first dropped him off with Jensen) had been an unpleasant shock.

Jensen frowned.

“It’s okay,” Jared whispered resignedly. “I know I have to go with whoever picks me next... I-I’m just glad you were my first, Jensen. Promise you’ll take care of my babies?”

“Don’t speak like that! I’m not letting them get their grubby hands on you.” The alpha grumbled. Then flushed as he realized how possessive he’d just sounded. He glanced up to meet Jared’s eyes hesitantly, “I mean... Would you like to come back home with me?”

“Is-is that an actual option?” He vaguely remembered Jensen asking him this a few months ago, but he was too exhausted to actually consider anything with much clarity.

Jensen licked his lips, “There... there are conditions, _obviously_. But yes, it’s- its possible. If you want to, I mean. I haven’t yet given my go-ahead; but if you agree, I can petition to keep you with us for another year.”

“You’d do that for me?” Jared asked; eyes wide. He pictured a whole-year’s reprieve from being treated like a hired-womb without thoughts or feelings of his own and it sounded like heaven to him. Jensen had never made him feel less than a person and the chance to spend more time with the kindly alpha was something he didn’t want to give up on. The fact that he would also get to be with his babies was just the cherry on top. “Yes, I agree. To _anything._ I want to come back home with you!”

“You haven’t even heard-” Jensen objected.

“I don’t care.” Jared interrupted, “ _Anything_...As long as I get to be with you.”

The alpha nodded his understanding and rose, taking his leave after brushing a quick kiss to the top of Jared’s sweaty head and a muffled explanation about needing to hurry so that he could file his request before Jared got reassigned. Jared watched the door close behind his alpha and stared at the plain white walls of the room wondering whether he would be given a chance to see his babies if he asked. He hoped Jensen was successful in his petition and that he would be going back to the red-bricked house that had become _home_ to him over the last fifteen months. He was startled out of his thoughts by the creak of the door opening and felt his dimples peek out when he saw that it was the TOC’s staff coming in with his children. He opened his arms eagerly and felt his unease return when they were slapped down. He frowned when a third individual (an alpha, also in TOC’s garb) followed the earlier two who had entered the room cradling his babies. The alpha raised the inclination of his bed so that he was partially sitting up and Jared started struggling as a rope was bound to his torso- criss-crossing over the front of his chest and tied firmly behind his back. He reddened with shame when he realized that the tightness of the rope meant that his chest was thrust forward obscenely. He struggled to get away instinctively as the alpha slid in behind him, holding him immobile; only relaxing when the two betas cradling his children stepped forward and adjusted the babies’ position so that they could nurse from Jared.

“No!” Jared struggled carefully, not wanting to accidentally injure his kids, “Please... you’ve got it wrong. I don’t want to nurse them! Please! Speak to my alpha, he’ll explain everythi-!” He trailed off when he realized that there was a fourth person in the room- _not counting him or his babies_ \- someone who had stepped in unnoticed.

“Jensen? Alpha?”

“Breast milk is healthier for the children,” The alpha informed him, expression carefully guarded and not quite meeting his eyes, “I want you to nurse them.”

 

tbc

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	2. Chapter 2

Jared stared in betrayal, dumbfounded by the alpha’s apparent change of heart as he insisted that Jared nurse his children despite having earlier agreed not to make the demand of him. He figured that it was possibly a show for the TOC and that things would change once they reached home, but something appeared to have changed in Jensen in the hours between Jared giving birth and them returning home with their newborns... Jensen kept his distance from the young omega, but was adamant that he nurse the children. Even though they continued to share a bed, Jensen was noticeably frigid to him. And then exactly one week from the babies’ birth, Jensen demanded he sleep with him. The man had always been considerate and this turn of events surprised Jared. When he protested, the alpha simply dragged him by the hair to their room, locked the door shut and slammed him down on the bed. Still not fully healed from the agonizing labour, Jared was winded by the drop. He was still struggling to get in a decent breath when he was divested of his garments- not entirely, thankfully; but it was almost  _more_  demeaning that Jensen only bothered to tug his pants down enough to bare his hole before the alpha slammed home. Still sore from the birth, Jared screamed like a gutted animal at the penetration. There was no careful prep to soften his opening, and being mostly dressed with only his hole accessible made him feel like less than a person- something he was familiar with from his dealings with the TOC but had never experienced from the alpha. Jensen pulled out unceremoniously once he was done and rolled over to sleep, not even enquiring about Jared’s needs and the omega found himself sobbing into his pillow, too drained to even bother with getting up and cleaning himself. And then the alpha threw a heavy leg over both of his and Jared knew that leaving the bed was out o the question and he drifted off with tear tracks drying on his cheeks. Jensen took him twice more that night before leaving the bed in the morning without a word.   
  
Jared just stared at the white ceiling as the alpha’s release slowly tricked out of him in a dirty stream. When he had agreed to return to Jensen, he’d envisioned life the way he had experienced in the last year with the man, but it was quickly becoming evident that the situation had changed. He knew he need to get up and get cleaned before Pops came looking for him, but before he could summon the energy to force his aching body up, Jensen returned. Jared was horrified to realize that Jensen was not alone.  In his arms were their children-who were just coming awake with soft mewls of hunger, demanding to be fed. The alpha didn’t speak, just raised an eyebrow at him and Jared was manoeuvring himself into a seated position, arms extended to accept the kids. He was still uncomfortable with the notion of nursing them, his mind supplying him visions of Denny’s ruined body every time he felt the soft suckling at his chest, but when Jensen wordlessly raised a brow, arms coming up to cross over his chest, Jared decided to yield. Uncertain of what to make of this development, Jared obeyed the silent order. The babies were taken away from him the moment they were fed and Jared wanted to simply curl up and cry- not knowing when everything had gone so wrong... Unfortunately for him, Jensen was unsympathetic, demanding that he freshen up for the day and resume his classes. Jared’s gait was unsteady and he was limping from Jensen’s ministrations in the night, but he was far too terrified of this version of the alpha to protest. Once he was showered, Jensen strapped him to a pump to ensure that the twins would not go hungry while Jared was at school.   
  
School had once been his respite from the nightmare of his life, but lost in his misery, Jared found he could barely keep up with his classes and even Chad failed to cheer him up. He had hoped Jensen’s mood would improve while he’d been away, but was heartbroken to realize that the alpha was still in the same strange frame of mind he had been in since the previous night. And though the alpha was careful to not physically hurt him this time when he consummated his claim on Jared, the omega couldn’t help but feel betrayed.   
  
Something had changed in Jensen since the twins’ birth, Jared realized mournfully- the alpha was never outright cruel but he was not the kind and considerate man he had begun to fall in love with either. It was the little things like the way he no longer asked permission before taking Jared, or the way he simply ordered Jared to do things instead of asking or requesting that bothered him the most. And sex had become a part of his daily routine after that fateful night; the alpha no longer waiting to ensure that Jared was in the mood before stripping and claiming him.  The betrayal felt worse because he had never expected Jensen to treat him the way other alphas treated their omegas. Uncertain and fearful of his new status in the household, Jared usually made himself scarce once the alpha returned from work, staying with his two children or burying himself in his homework till the green eyed man came to drag him to bed.   
  
Three weeks into the new routine and Jensen didn’t come to summon him as had become the norm over the past days... heart beating in terror, Jared peaked out of his room, wanting to find out what had caused the change in routine and terrified that the break in routine could only mean further unpleasantness. He tiptoed down the hall and was horrified to stumble upon his alpha and Pops. He shrank bad immediately and realized with relief that he hadn’t been spotted when no one came after him. Hidden from view –  _and safe for the time-being-_  Jared breathed deeply to settle his hammering heart and chose to linger and eavesdrop: after all, finding out more about his situation could only help.  
  
He gasped when he realized that Jensen was actually sobbing into his father’s lap, the older omega’s voice muffled as he tried to comfort the alpha.  
  
“-oesn’t have to be this way...”   
  
“But don’t you see? It does! I hate it, Dad... but I have no other choice-”  
  
“No?” Jensen’s father interrupted, “Are you sure about that? Because you are terrifying him, Kiddo... And hurting yourself as well... What if- What if it didn’t have to be this way? What if there was an alternative? Maybe if you told him...?”  
  
“I can’t... he- he loves too easily... he- he’ll love this child too. And I can’t let that happen.”  
  
“He’s going to end up hating you,” Pops’ voice cautioned.  
  
“Good,” Jensen’s voice was thick with tears, “After everything I’ve put him through he  _should_ hate me. ... I’d rather Jared hate me than feel any guilt over this.”  
  
“What are you guys talking about?!” Jared demanded as he stepped inside, uncaring that he was giving away that he had been eavesdropping. Jensen had never truly ‘hurt’ him, he realized now. That one time had been an accident, he guessed because Jensen  _couldn’t_  be sweet and caring the way he had been if he wanted to make Jared despise their encounters together. If he overlooked his own feeling on the matter and thought about it, Jensen didn’t look like he was enjoying their current sexual situation either- the alpha was mechanical, his release almost an afterthought than something he was chasing when he took Jared.  
  
“Jared?!” Jensen’s voice cracked on his name as the alpha scrambled to his feet and looking at him now, Jared could see the utter devastation in the man’s face. The normally put-together alpha looked dishevelled: hair askew and eyes red-rimmed from his crying jag. And as Jared ran an assessing eye over the man, he realized that Jensen had lost considerable weight as well. He had been avoiding the man so completely that he had missed all these signs, but looking at him now, Jared realized that in trying to act like a heartless alpha, Jensen was punishing himself as well- and far more than he was punishing Jared.   
  
He offered a tentative smile as he stated the obvious, “yeah.”  
  
The alpha just stared at him open mouthed till Pops took matters into his own hands and climbed to his feet as well.   
  
“You two need to talk,” The older omega announced to the room at large before patting Jensen on the shoulder and walking away.  
  
“Hey,” Jared whispered softly once they heard the guest-room door close after the departing man.   
  
“Hey,” Jensen returned awkwardly.  
  
“Guess you have things you need to talk to me ‘bout, huh?”  
  
The alpha scratched the back of his head and nodded. “You don’t hate me?”  
  
“Nope,” Jared returned, popping the ‘p’. While he had begun fearing the man recently, he had never despised him; his heart refusing to let him forget the way the man had gone out of his way to care for him and cater to his wishes. Discovering that Jensen had simply been trying to drive him away lifted a huge weight off his chest, returning his ability to smile once again.  
  
“How? Why?” Jensen asked. His eyes gave away his hope even as they told Jared how much the alpha feared his reply.  
  
“I was beginning to grow worried that I had done something,” Jared confessed with a shrug. “And while you acted indifferent, you can never be anything like some of those alphas out there... It helped that you never actually hurt me-”  
  
“That’s not true.” Jensen argued, “You screamed like a banshee that time I took you... and you’re not a screamer, Sweetheart. So I can only imagine how horrifically it must have hurt to make you sound like that.”  
  
“Yeah, it hurt.” Jared admitted with a shrug, “But Jensen, it wasn’t like you  _wanted_ to hurt me. You never took pleasure in my pain. You can try all you want, but you’re never going to be a sadist, Jen.”  
  
Jensen nodded shyly. “So... you- uh... you forgive me?”  
  
“Depends,” Jared returned, unable to keep from smiling now that his old alpha was back. “You need to tell me what is going on... and please share the complete truth this time, okay? No trying to protect me.”  
  
The alpha accepted with a resigned nod. “Remember how you told me you’d do anything to get out from under the TOC’s thumb?”  
  
Jared nodded.  
  
“Well, the TOC only wants you because of your womb... So I figured that if you can’t have babies for them-”  
  
“They won’t want anything to do with me.” Jared finished; dawning realization widening his eyes.  
  
“Exactly,” Jensen echoed, “but thing is; you can’t exactly go up to a doctor and ask them to excise your uterus... but if your life is at risk because of your uterus then they’ll have to remove it. ... I spoke to Doc Beaver and well, I- uh... we came up with this plan to impregnate you...”  
  
“You want me o get pregnant again?” Jared interrupted. “I thought that was unadvisable- as of right now, I mean. But- but if we wait for a few more months though...” He shrugged, “I mean... you  _do_  have me for this whole year, right?”  
  
“I do,” Jensen agreed, “But we want to do it precisely because it’s unadvisable, you know? That’s the thing... if you get pregnant right now, then it’s going to be a health risk for you-”  
“-and easier to explain why I need to have my uterus removed.” Jared concluded, connecting the dots.  
  
Jensen nodded.   
  
“What about the baby?”  
  
“There won’t be a ‘baby’ if we time it right... it’ll be just a clump of cells.”  
  
Jared swallowed but argued determinately, “You’re willing to do that? Get rid of your possible child? I mean I remember when I-”  
  
“Don’t,” Jensen interrupted harshly. “This is nothing like that and you know it.”  
  
Unable to counter that without bringing up memories that were far too raw for both of them, Jared conceded. And then he remembered the other things he’d read since discovering his status, “Okay, fine. But...but if you flout the rules they’ll blacklist you from- from the TOC.”  
  
“So? I already have my babies...” Jensen shrugged.  
  
“You don’t want another omega a few years down the line?”  
  
“I already have the omega I want.”  
  
Jared’s eyes flew to meet earnest green at the declaration. He choked down the sob that wanted to break free, “You mean it?”  
  
“You and those babies up there are the most important things in my life.” The alpha admitted without any posturing.  
  
“Thank you,” Jared whispered, his voice nearly inaudible for the emotion choking him.   
  
“So... you’re okay with this?”  
  
He just nodded.  
  
“It’s not going to be easy.”  
  
“Easier than being an omega,” Jared countered with a shrug, “I can deal.”  
  
The alpha just looked at him, eyes searching for something in his expression that Jared had no idea about, but eventually he nodded.  
“Ready?”  
  
The alpha startled, “What?”  
  
“I have some eggs that you need to fertilize, Alpha.” Jared grinned, “You up for the challenge?”  
  
Jensen huffed out a laugh as he wrapped an arm around his shoulder and guided him towards their bedroom. “You are amazing, you know that?”  
  
Jared just chuckled as he shrugged out of his clothes, “So you keep telling me.”  
  
“Okay then, how are we doing this?”  
  
“Well, you have this thing called a penis which gets hard when it’s aroused... and you put it in me,” Jared answered with a twinkle in his eye.  
  
“Brat,” Jensen whispered fondly as he joined the teenager on the bed.  
  
Jared just laughed.  
  
Two days later he held out a positive pregnancy strip proudly and whooped when Jensen simply picked him up and swung him around. The alpha struggled to hold on to a suitably guilty expression when he took Jared back to Jim Beaver’s clinic to confirm the pregnancy.  
  
Jared wasn’t sure what he expected to happen after getting pregnant, but nothing seemed to change apart from the pain in his abdomen and back. Jensen had gone back to being the man Jared had begun to fall in love with and the omega was beginning to lose hope.  _Maybe Jensen had had his best interests at heart originally, but changed his mind now that Jared was with his child... or maybe that had been the plan all along, tempt him with escaping the TOC’s thumb to voluntarily bear his brats..._ Even as he thought it, Jared felt guilty and wrapped his arms around his belly and mentally apologised to the baby. He was brought out of his musings by the scent of something burning and groaned when he realized that he’d burnt the onions he’d been sautéing.   
  
He huffed as he realized that they were past salvaging and picked up the heavy pan to empty it into the trash and restart from the beginning when Jensen arrived. The alpha looked nervous somehow and Jared felt himself tense in response.  
  
“Everything okay?” He questioned, glancing at the man even as he tried to scrape out the determined bits of charred vegetables stuck to the bottom of the pan. Jensen started nodding immediately before catching himself and shook his head, eyes firmly fixed on the cast-iron pan in Jared’s hands.   
  
“Jensen?” He asked, abandoning the pan; minute tremors coursing through him as he regarded the alpha apprehensively.  
  
“Leave the dinner to Dad. You need to come with me.”  
  
He nodded, following mutely as the alpha led the way to the guest room and retrieved the long forgotten discipline kit. Jared’s breath escaped in a rush as his eyes fixated on the bag. “Je-Jensen?”  
  
“I’m sorry,” The alpha whispered, “But I guess I’ll be breaking my promise after all...”  
  
“No,” Jared breathed, stepping back instinctively, “No, please... Alpha... I’m sorry. Please!  Whatever it is, I- I’m sorry, alright! Please, you don’t have to do this, Jen... Please!” He turned to run when he felt a strong arm curl around his waist and pull him back to the alpha, “No, don’t! Please!”  
  
“Sshhh...” Jensen soothed, pulling him into the safety of his arms, “Ssshhh... Calm down...”  
  
“B-bu-but...” Jared protested, fat tears making their meandering way down his cheeks.  
  
“Sshhh... it has to be done, Kiddo... and it’ll hurt something awful, I’m not going to lie about that... but I need to do this, okay?”  
  
“Why?” He blubbered, not even trying to hold back his tears now as he realized he was going to be punished. “Is this because of the onions?”  
  
“Onions?” Jensen repeated blankly.  
  
“You know... the ones I just burnt...” He admitted, wondering if it was a test and Jensen just wanted to make him admit his mistake.  
  
“No its not because of some stupid onions!” The alpha exclaimed before sobering... “Although, if that’s what you want to believe... its fine...  Yes, I’m punishing you because you burnt some damned onions.”  
  
“Why?”  
  
“Why what?”  
  
“Why are you doing this if its not for the onions?”  
  
“You know why,” Jensen told him gently, pressing a chaste kiss to his lips.  
  
And he abruptly understood. “It’s part of the plan?” He asked with wide eyes.  
  
“Hush!” Jensen snapped, “You know you’re not supposed to talk about that!”  
  
“’m sorry, Alpha...” Jared mumbled, lowering his head. After he’d found out about it, Jensen had made him promise not to talk about it.   
  
It meant his family was currently very unhappy with Jensen for impregnating Jared and risking his health but there was nothing he could do to allay their fears about how consensual the act had been this time around.  
  
Jensen helped him lower his pants and position himself over the edge of the table. A warm palm slipped under him, carefully cupping the soft bulge of his developing midsection before withdrawing.  “This is not going to work,”  
  
He straightened, glancing nervously at the alpha and watched as the man’s eyes glanced around the room before pausing on the wooden chair.  
  
“Right, so I need you to bend over this, okay?”  
  
Jared went to do just as he’d been asked when Jensen stopped him with a hand on his arm. “No, like this,”  
  
He furrowed his brow at the awkward positioning- his palms were pressed flat on the seat for support as he bent over the backrest, the heavy wooden frame digging into his abdomen.  
  
“Ready?”  
  
He shrugged, not trusting his voice.  
  
The first blow wasn’t very hard, but it still rocked him forward. Jensen’s hand came to hold him down firmly and it pressed the backrest more firmly into his belly. And Jared finally realized what was happening...  _He hated it._  
  
Jensen didn’t carry on spanking him for long, obviously uncomfortable with the task. Besides, the man hadn’t even opened the disciple kit they had retrieved from the other room, preferring to use his bare hand instead of an implement.  
  
Once done, Jensen helped him pull his pants back on, even going so far as to cinch the belt for him. It was uncomfortably tight against his growing belly, but he held back his complaints.  
  
“Anything?” Jensen asked him hopefully as they prepared for bed later that night.  
  
“My butt’s slightly sore, but that’s about it,” Jared shrugged.  
  
“You know that’s not what I’m asking,” The alpha ground out sourly even as he tugged Jared closer, fingers gently kneading the omega’s sore butt through his sweatpants.  
  
“I don’t even know what I’m supposed to be looking out for!” Jared protested, pulling back to look the man in the eye.  
  
“I know,” Jensen murmured, “I’m sorry.”  
  
Jared went willingly as the alpha tugged him back into his arms, automatically entwining their legs together as Jensen pulled up the covers and turned to wrap an arm around him.  
  
“Do you need something for your butt?” Jensen asked after a moment. “How bad does it hurt?”  
  
He smiled at the obvious concern and burrowed into the alpha’s arms. “Nah... it’s fine. Nothing I can’t handle.”  
  
“Good, great...” Jensen smiled, “But I still want to make it upto you.”  
  
Jared just hummed, snuggling in closer and revelling in the feel of the alpha’s arms around him as he turned in the embrace so that they were now pressed chest to back. Jensen’s hands came to rest on the swell of his abdomen and he gasped as the pressed down firmly.   
  
“Got an idea, hold on,” Jensen murmured before slipping out of the bed. Jared squinted at the sudden light as the bedside lamp came on and watched as Jensen pulled open the cupboard under the sink for the first-aid kit. He yawned as he propped himself up on an elbow, sleepily watching as the man returned with all the bandage rolls in their stock.  
  
“Need you to stand up for a minute, Sweetheart.”  
  
He frowned but got up without protest, slipping off his nightshirt when Jensen tugged at it.  
  
“Okay, now inhale, alright? Pull in your stomach as much as you can.”  
  
Still uncertain about the alpha’s intentions, Jared obeyed; gasping softly when Jensen wrapped the bandage tightly around his belly. He proceeded to do the same with all the rolls, forming a soft, homemade version of the shape-wear he’d seen celebrity betas wear. Thing was,  _they_ weren’t pregnant like Jared and with his body ballooning out to make space for the foetus, the tightness of the bandages was frankly uncomfortable.  
  
Jensen helped him slip his nightshirt back on and guided him to lie back again; crowding up against his back with his arms around the omega.  
  
He sighed as he snuggled in, making himself as comfortable as the bindings around his stomach would permit, “Thought you were gonna make it up to me for the spanking today.”  
  
Jensen hummed and the omega could feel the chef smile at his query, “I’ll take tomorrow off, and we’ll have a mini date... I can cook my meatloaf for you and-”  
  
“Your meatloaf’s payment enough,” Jared interrupted, salivating at the very thought of his favourite dish...  
  
“Seriously, I sometimes think you only want me for my meatloaf.” Jensen teased.  
  
“Of course I want you for your meatloaf!” Jared grinned back unrepentantly. Then, after a beat added, “Doesn’t hurt that the rest of you is one hot-ass package either.”  
  
The older man blushed at the flattery before mischief brightened his eyes, “I feel like I’ve been neglecting you since the babies came... want to pamper you. Your parents want to spend some time with the kids anyway. Dad can take them over. So, if you think I’m hot, it can be arranged so that they give us some privacy tomorrow...” He wriggled his eye brows lasciviously.  
  
“You’re incorrigible!” Jared huffed, giggling.  
  
The ‘date’ started out promisingly, enough. Jensen prepared his meatloaf and they had an enjoyable dinner. It was as Jared was making his way upstairs that he fell face-first; his baby-bump taking the brunt of the fall.   
  
He could feel himself getting teary eyed from the collapse and pushed himself up on shaky arms. Warm hands wrapped around his shoulders to help and he relaxed gratefully into their offered comfort; crying out when they pushed him forcefully down instead. His abdomen began cramping with the worst pain he had ever experienced and he could hear Jensen’s voice on the phone in the background. There was a steady pressure on his back, pressing his stomach against the edge of the stair but he was in too much pain to protest. Within minutes there was the sound of sirens and then loud voices as strange hands grabbed at him and took him away from Jensen.  
  
Two weeks and four days later, Jared was back in the house. Minus his baby...   
  
He wanted to be angry with Jensen for killing his baby, but then he remembered how he had never wanted children and would be inexplicably happy. His moods changed with the direction of the breeze and Jared was left reeling in their wake. Jensen’s father was a bulwark in the midst of the turmoil and he was glad for the older omega’s support. He wondered if his family was unaware about what had happened because they had not come to visit him even once since his hospital stay; but when he tried ringing them up, Jensen told him he was no longer allowed contact with them.  
  
“What?! Why?”  
  
“They’re trying to take you away from me, Kiddo.”         
  
His brow furrowed in confusion before the first seeds of understanding bloomed and he rushed to the bathroom, yanking off his shirt and staring at the healing scar across his abdomen. He brushed a careful finger over it, not really feeling any different but knowing it had changed everything. Jared glanced up when Jensen stepped into the room after him, meeting the alpha’s gaze in the mirror. “Jen, did they?”  
  
Jensen gave one brief nod, a bittersweet smile tugging at his lips.  
  
He whirled around, “Really?”  
  
“Hush...” The alpha pressed a finger against his lip, voice soft as he explained, “You’re not supposed to know any of this, Kiddo... Okay?”  
  
He waited till Jared nodded to continue explaining, “Yes, you are technically no longer an omega. But you still have to serve the year out with me. Obviously, I cannot protest and set you free without raising suspicion, but-”Jensen took a breath before continuing, “Your family’s filed a petition to get you released from your obligation to the TOC... I-uh... naturally, I’m contesting their claim.  _Well, officially at least._ Must say that my attorney is an absolute idiot though... I was hoping he’d be incompetent judging from the number of cases he’s lost, but yeah; I didn’t expect him to be this bad... anyway, so I have a feeling that your family’s going to win this round... but you can’t get in touch with them till a decision is reached, understand?”  
  
“Were you even going to tell me?” He demanded, eyes wide at all that had happened without him knowing.  
  
Jensen chuckled. “Didn’t want to get your hopes up, Kiddo.”  
  
“So why’re you telling me now?”  
  
“Because you were going to go behind my back and call them unless I did. And I’m really hoping to avoid that.”  
  
He narrowed his eyes suspiciously, “And that’s the only reason?”  
  
Jensen swallowed, his adam’s apple bobbing visibly at the action as his eyes skittered away. “The final verdict is supposed to be delivered the day after tomorrow.”  
  
“Oh,”  
  
“And I wanted you to know that you are welcome to continue living with me... I’m not going to object. Hell, I’d actually love it if you do.”  
  
Jared nodded, acknowledging the gracious offer even if he was sure he wasn’t going to accept it. Instead of confessing it though, he chose to voice his doubts, “Do you really think I can be free?”  
  
Jensen shrugged. “I hope so...”  
  
Jared grinned. “Tell me something?”  
  
“Sure. But officially, you don’t know anything about the case, alright?”  
  
“Of course.”  
  
“Good. So, what’s your question?”  
  
“What happens to my babies when-  _if-_ I leave? Do they go with me?”  
  
“The kids are mine, Jared. Although you’re welcome to visit them as often as you’d like... I’d really like it if you would continue to be a part of their lives.”  
  
“They-They’re not coming with me?”  
  
Jensen’s eyes softened as he registered the pleading tone, a wordless request for him t reassure the by that he was not going to be separated from his children. He sighed a he shook his head sadly, “They’re legally mine, Jared... you know that.”  
  


 

 

-*-  
  
-*-

  
  
Jared watched from the door of the children’s room as his babies slept on, blissfully ignorant of the raging turmoil in their father’s mind. The paper-list he clutched rustled as his hands clenched in agitation. The sound made him glance down towards it again, the two neat columns listing out the pros and cons of accepting Jensen’s offer- the pros seemed to be outweighing the cons more and more but the single line he had scrawled into the ‘cons’ column still had him hesitating:  _‘Give up your dreams’_.  
  
 _Could he really do that?_  Jared wondered; just forget about his plans for the life he’d wanted for himself before he’d been discovered as an omega... it- it wouldn’t exactly be a bad life, he knew. Jensen cared enough to try and make his- _their-_  life as happy as he knew how... but-  
  
“Penny for your thoughts, son?”  
  
Jared turned to smile at Jensen’s father, “It’s nothing...”  
  
“Oh it’s  _always_  something,” The older omega countered, smiling in the benign way that he had, “But I won’t pry. Just- you know I’m willing to listen if you ever want to talk, alright?”  
  
Jared nodded, “I know. Thanks.”  
  
Henry (as Jared discovered Pop’s real name to be) smiled again, turning to leave after he’d checked on the children himself when Jared decided he would prefer to talk after-all.   
  
“Wait!”  
  
The older man paused.  
  
Jared blushed, “It’s just that Jensen... Jensen proposed last night.”  
  
To his surprise, Henry’s lips pursed, “I see.”  
  
Jared faltered, foot scuffing the hardwood floor uncomfortably as he queried, “You don’t think it’s a good idea?”  
  
“My opinion doesn’t matter,” Jensen’s dad answered, “What do you want to do?”  
  
“I- I don’t know,” Jared sighed, “I- I mean, Jensen’s obviously a great guy and he’s a good alpha... which is not something I would say about the majority of them. And- and I love our kids, you know? So maybe - maybe I should stop being difficult and give in already...”  
  
“Or maybe you should stick to your guns.” Henry returned, “It’s not a crime to want to be happy, Jared.”  
  
“But Jensen’s a good alpha... a good  _person_ -”  
  
“And therein lies the problem, doesn’t it?” Henry asked softly. “You’ve spent what-about thirteen months here?”  
  
“Nineteen,” Jared corrected automatically. He hadn’t meant to keep track, but somehow- somehow he had.  
  
“Nineteen months.” Henry amended, “And you’ve been  _owned_  by my son for that time. You didn’t get a choice and you were only permitted limited outside contact during that time. And yes, Jensen was-  _is-_  not as bad as some of the alphas out there... so obviously you’ve latched onto him. Perhaps what you’re feeling is just...  _Stockholm syndrome_.”  
  
Jared glanced away. It wasn’t like he hadn’t thought of that himself... but- “You said ‘yes’ when Alpha Ackles proposed.”  
  
“Yes, I did.” Henry admitted; eyes turning distant as he glanced away before meeting Jared’s eyes again, “Because I didn’t have anybody else to turn to. And there was no one to counsel me either.”  
  
Jared swallowed, “Are... are you saying you made a mistake?”  
  
Henry shook his head, “Not exactly... but sometimes I catch myself wondering if I gave in too early. Don’t- don’t get me wrong... I loved Jensen and he was an amazing kid. But...”  
  
Jared reached out to squeeze the older man’s hand gently.  
  
Misty eyes met his, “I wasn’t much more than a glorified nanny and housekeeper, Jared ...And an occasional _bed-warmer._ ”  
  
Jared swallowed down the bile that rose at that.  
  
“Alpha-...” He paused with a wry smile, obviously the habit of not using your alpha’s name a hard one to break but amending nonetheless, “- _Adrian_  never loved me. Sure, he cared enough and he was a decent alpha, I guess. But I was still  _his omega_.” Henry swallowed audibly before continuing, “I- I have been disciplined for my mistakes, Jared. Sometimes with Jensen right there in the room with us-”  
  
Jared couldn’t stop his horrified gasp-  _given how close Jensen was to his Dad; perhaps this explained his aversion to the TOC’s discipline kit..._  
  
“It- it wasn’t often. But there were occasions when the food wasn’t up to the mark or- or something.” Henry continued. “I’m not saying Jensen would do that to you... but I don’t want you regretting your choice later in life...”  
  
Jared nodded, “What about my babies?”  
  
“Jensen would never keep you away from them.” Henry answered.  
  
“So you’re suggesting I say ‘no’?”  
  
Henry shook his head, “You were raised an alpha, kiddo. You were never told that your whole  _raison d’etre_ was to do the bidding of alphas... So you have options. You can get back your life... If you really want to know what I think, I suggest leaving. Stay away for a bit. Sure, you’d miss the children, but try and stay away. It’ll get easier with time till one day you’ll wake up and realise you haven’t thought of them... It may not even take that long... just, go back to your old life- at least as much of it as you can and then, if you still think Jensen’s the one for you, you can come back. And if you do, you’ll know you’re doing it because you  _want_  it this time, not because you have to or it’s the easiest option.”  
  
“You really think Jensen will wait that long for me?” He asked in a small voice.  
  
Henry just nodded, “Forever, if he has to.”  
  
Jared’s eyes widened as realization dawned, “He’s in love with me, isn’t he?”  
  
The older man simply smiled.  
  
Jared bit his lip, “Won’t it hurt him if I leave, then?”  
  
“It’ll be my penance.” A familiar voice spoke from behind them and Jared whirled around in surprise.  
  
“How... how long were you standing there?”  
  
“Not long,” Jensen smiled as he walked forward to pull him into an embrace.  
  
Jared relaxed into the familiar hold, leaning down so he could rest his head on Jensen’s shoulder, having shot up after his last growth spurt as Doc Beaver had predicted even though it felt strange to be taller than the older man. “You won’t hate me?”  
  
Jensen’s hands came up to stroke through the hair at his nape gently, “I couldn’t even if I wanted to, Jay. ... And you’ll always have access to the kids. You- you won’t have to see me at all if it makes it easier for you. You already have a key so you can come and see them whenever you want and we could set up pre-decided times when I could drive them over to your place. I’d stay in the car so you wouldn’t have to meet me... I- I just want you to be happy, Jared. I’d be honoured if it was with me that you find your happiness, but it’s perfectly alright if you find it elsewhere. Okay?”  
  
Jared nodded. He knew now that he would be taking Henry’s advice and leaving when his family came for him the next day; but a part of him couldn’t help but wonder if he was making a mistake.


	3. Chapter 3

Jared had his bags already packed by the time the day of the judgement rolled around. He stayed back from school that day, choosing to spend as much time as he could with his kids. When the rumble of Jensen’s car sounded in the driveway, Jared left the kids with Pops to let the alpha in. He peered at the man to see if his expression revealed anything about the judgement and frowned when he couldn’t decipher anything. The alpha waited for the door to close behind him before tugging Jared into his arms and cupping his face between his hands, whispering: “We won, Kiddo. We won! You’re free.”

 

And then familiar lips were pressing against his. Jared grinned and opened his mouth to grant ingress, but instead of taking him up on the offer, Jensen pulled back with an awkward cough.

 

“Sorry, I uh... I’d forgotten I’m not allowed to anymore. I didn’t mean to-”

 

Jared laughed at the awkward explanation and leaned forward to kiss the man in lieu of silencing him.

 

When he pulled back, Jensen was staring at him wide-eyed; apparently speechless for once.

 

Before either of them could speak, the doorbell rang and Jensen opened it to find Nate. The other alpha didn’t wait for Jensen to let him in, pushing his way in with a joyous shout as he loudly announced, “You’re free, brother! Told you we’d get you away from the TOC’s thumb!!! Now get your things already, we’re leaving! You don’t have to stay here anymore- you’re free to comeback home!!!”

 

They stepped back as the rest of Jared’s family arrived and then the freshly declared beta was being hugged and embraced and even lifted and spun around joyfully. His mom started fussing over him as Nate went up to fetch his suitcase- filled to bursting now with the things Jensen had got for him. He felt his eyes smart as he thought of the nearly empty duffel he’d arrived with and his eyes strayed to the man who had made this possible. Jensen was in the kitchen and he could see the man hurrying around. Frowning in confusion, he extricated himself from his mother’s arms and went to the man.

 

“Jen?”

 

“Hmmm?”

 

“What’re you doing?”

 

“Me? Oh, nothing. ... I uh. I made you some meatloaf to take with you. And here’s the recipe if you ever want to try making it yourself. It’s cool if you don’t, you just have to call and I can make some for you. Or hell, you don’t even need to speak to me, you know? Just drop a line and tell me how many you need. I can get them for you. And if y-”

 

“Jensen?” He waited till the alpha paused in his breathless explanations, “Stop, alright? And thank you.”

 

The alpha grinned at him but Jared could see the strain around the man’s eyes as he tried to hold up his smile.

 

“You’re going to be okay?” Jensen asked softly.

 

Jared glanced behind him where his family were gathering up the last of his things and turned back to the man he had spent the last year and half with. “I guess. Might need some therapy...” He shrugged. “But yeah, I’m going to be okay.”

 

“Good. Good...” Jensen looked down before glancing up and pulling Jared into his arms one last time. “Just... be happy, alright? Do whatever you want to. _Whatever_ you have to... Just find yourself some happiness and hold on to it. And if you need something from me, don’t be shy. You can come see the kids whenever you want to. Which reminds me, here-” And something cod and hard was being handed to him.

 

Jared opened his palm to see what Jensen had pressed into it and felt his eyes mist as he noticed a copy of the house key.

 

“This home is as much yours as mine. And I know I can never make up for the wrong I did you- or the hell I put you through, but if there’s anything- _anything at all,_ that I can do for you, let me know. Okay?”

 

“J-Bird? Ready to go?” His father called from the door.

 

Jared glanced back and nodded. His things had already been put away in the car and his mom had gone to sit, with his dad following after his wife. Nate was standing at the door, impatiently bouncing on the balls of his feet. He turned back to Jensen and leaned back in for one last hug, “Bye.”

 

Jensen’s voice was hoarse as he responded, “Bye, Kiddo. Take care.”

 

 

 

Jared twisted his head to peer through the rear windshield and watch as long as he could see the red bricked house. Jensen stood in his front lawn, watching him go. Then the car turned right and the house disappeared from view, taking with it the alpha that had changed his life.

 

 

 

Life at his parent’s house was as familiar as it was different... he was back to being a ‘kid’ which meant fixed bed-times; but it also meant he was no longer expected to help in the kitchen (and while a part of him was glad for it, the rest of him wanted his input counted, if in nothing else, then in deciding meals). It didn’t help that he missed Jensen’s cooking. His mom was good, or so he had thought before his classification as omega; but now, he found himself itching to take matters in his own hands; not the cooking so much as the plating- Jensen had taught him a few simple tricks about making his food look nicer and he had enjoyed trying to make his plate look more appealing. He was back at his old school, and while the halls were as familiar as ever, he missed Chad and the other friends he had made. His ex-girlfriend was seeing the captain of the debate team and while they had all been friends before, it was incredibly awkward between the three of them now. Everyone started at him when he walked by, having never seen someone released from the TOC before; and he hated the attention. Academics were the only bit that was unchanged- he had kept abreast of his studies at Jensen’s; and now he found himself thankful to the alpha for letting him continue and encouraging him when he had lost hope and wanted to give up. Still, there was a certain distance between his classmates and him- something which hadn’t been there before. It didn’t help that while the others went home to homework and games or stayed back for after-hours study sessions, Jared hurried home to his children. He and Jensen had worked it out between them so that the kids were waiting for him when he got home from school and then Jensen picked them up on his way back from work. The alpha and his family had decided that a clean break would be best for all involved, so Jensen never came in and Jared never went out; his mom ferrying the twins to the car every evening. Sometimes he found himself wishing that he could talk to the man about how fast they were growing, about their little accomplishments... after all, the babies were growing like weeds and he laws terrified of them growing up before he was ready. He longed to share tales of their development, his worries and hopes for them; but Jensen was off-limits and his classmates were too juvenile to have any interest in child-rearing... that left his parents and Jared wasn’t keen on spending more time with them than necessary. It was only when Pops came over with the kids every afternoon that Jared had a chance to speak to someone and although he was initially hesitant, once started talking to the older man, they soon struck up a fast friendship. It helped that Pops had already raised a child... there were so many things that he was able to reassure Jared about. He knew his mother did not approve of this development, and she resented that Jared approached the older omega instead of her. ... And he suspected that Pops knew it too, because he never stayed long. The older omega had given Jared an envelope with a card and a key two months in, explaining that they had moved and Jared had felt his eyebrows shoot up in surprise, “Moved?”

 

“Yeah, Jens-” The omega faltered and looked away, “Sorry, I shouldn’t have mentioned hi-”

 

“It’s fine, Pops,” Jared assured. “I don’t mind.”

 

The omega smiled at him briefly before nodding, “Yeah. So uhm... we moved. Of course, you’re still welcome whenever you want to come over.”

 

“Too many memories?” Jared guessed.

 

The omega smiled but didn’t comment on his assumption. More months passed and the children kept shooting up like weeds and before he knew it, the twins’ first birthday had rolled around.  He was a little disappointed when he was not invited for the party, but Jensen had sent over some left-over cake and a freshly baked meatloaf with Pops the day after the birthday when he came to drop the kids off. When he thought about it later that night, he realized that even if Jensen had not invited him for the birthday party, he had not kept the twins back either, allowing Jared to have his own little celebration with his children. It was Saturday when Pops dropped off an invite for the twins’ first birthday party the next day. He assured Jared that he didn’t have to go, that Jensen would understand if Jared didn’t want to see him so soon but it would mean a lot to the twins if he would come... going far as to explain that if Jared wanted to drop in for a few minutes, but didn’t want to encounter Jensen, he could call him and that the alpha would make himself scarce till Jared was in attendance.

 

Overwhelmed by how far Jensen was willing to bend to accommodate Jared, he agreed to attend, without attaching any conditions. He assured Pops that despite having been ‘assigned’ to Jensen while he had been an omega, he held no animosity for the alpha.

 

 

Jared felt like he was going on his first date given how nervous he was the next day, changing his shirt three times before he forced himself to stop second-guessing and headed out to where his family was already waiting. Lost in thought at the prospect of going back home after all these months, it slipped his mind that the Ackles’ had moved houses and when he saw the neighbourhood, he felt his heart sink: _why had Jensen left their perfectly good red-brick house to move to a place like this?!_

 

The house itself was no better than the neighbourhood- tiny and cramped. It did have a backyard- which was where the party was being held, but it was smaller than the kitchen of their old house. He saw Jensen watching him take in the surroundings, but the alpha didn’t approach and Jared got distracted by his kids.

 

As the host, the alpha was understandably busy and Jared didn’t get a chance to interact with the man at all till it was time to cut the birthday cakes. He smiled when he saw the identical three-tiered cakes being set before each child and with a wordless glance, he and Jensen each guided a child to cut into the cake. The familiar citrusy scent washed over him as they were all squished together for photographs and while they still didn’t talk, they were as in sync as ever. After, when Jensen and Pops took over slicing and distributing the cake among the guests, Jared took the time to go around the house... despite its run-down appearance, the house was welcoming and cosy. It made him tear up to find pictures of him scattered in among the family photographs. The house had obviously been child-roofed and he knew that even if it wasn’t big or fancy like their last house, the place was filled with enough love that his children were going to grow up happy. He was still looking around when Jensen and Pops appeared with the objects of his thoughts- both blissfully asleep. Pops passed over the slumbering beta into his arms with a knowing smirk and Jared found himself tailing helplessly after the alpha to what appeared to be the master bedroom. Only, a two joined cribs with a detach-able separator dominated the room and a queen sized mattress lay off to one side.

 

“I’ll give you some time with them,” Jensen offered once they had situated the slumbering infants. “Switch on the baby monitor when you leave, please?”

 

“Wait,” The word was out before Jared could censor himself.

 

“Yeah, Jay?”

 

“They look so peaceful, don’t they?” He whispered eyes still on his children. “I missed this.”

 

“You can stay as long as you want,” Jensen returned. “And you’re always welcome. Dad did give you the key, right? He didn’t forget?”

 

“Yeah, yeah he gave it to me.” Jared answered. Then, “Why did you move?”

 

The alpha’s cheeks reddened with shame and he was unable to meet his eyes as he confessed, “I could no longer afford that place, Jared. ... And I-I know this isn’t exactly the kind of place where you’d want your kids growing up. I’m working on that, I promise. It may not be big as our old place, but yeah, I’ll find them something better in a few more months.”

 

“Jensen...” Jared turned to face the alpha for the first time all day and noted the sunken cheeks and dark circles with alarm. Once again his mouth ran away from him and he found himself blundering ahead; “You look exhausted!”

 

“Putting in two back-to-back shifts five days a week will do that to you.” The alpha snorted, “You don’t need to worry ‘bout it.”

 

“What happened? How come I don’t know any of this?”

 

“Know what?”

 

“That you had to give up your home? That you’re so tight on money that you’re basically working yourself to death!”

 

“Hush,” The alpha shushed him, “You’ll wake ‘em.”

 

“Sorry,” He grumbled, crossing his arms across his chest mutinously and following Jensen to go sit on the mattress in the room’s corner.  He noticed that Jensen hadn’t denied anything he’d said. “You’re sleeping here, aren’t you?”

 

“Yeah,” The alpha shrugged, “It’s okay enough to catch a few hours of sleep. Besides, it conveniently doubles as the twin’s play-area.”

 

“Hmm,”

 

“You’re not going to let this go, are you?” Jensen sighed.

 

“I just want to know why,”

 

“It’s not rocket science, Kiddo. I lost the case, remember? Not that I regret it, but yeah... so uhm... the TOC fined me for negligence and consequent damage to their ‘property’,”- _both Jensen and he winced at the word-_ “ So I ended up paying pretty steep in damages... it wasn’t kind on my wallet,”

 

“Will you stop trying to shelter me?!”

 

“What?”

 

“You’re also paying for my therapy, Jensen. And setting aside quite a bit for when I graduate... as- as _compensation_? Did I use the word right?”

 

The alpha just nodded.

 

“Yeah, so it’s not just the TOC that you are paying, Jen; it’s me too!”

 

“What’re you trying to say?”

 

“That you can stop paying me, for my fund- the _compensation_ , whatever... and for my therapy.”

 

“I owe you at least that much, Jared.”

 

“But I don’t want it!”

 

“Tough,”

 

Jared sighed, “You’re not going to listen to me about this, are you?”

 

Jensen just regarded him silently.

 

Jared huffed and looked back towards the cribs. For long minutes neither of them spoke or moved, then: “I’ve missed this, you know?”

 

“What?”

 

“This- this thing that we have, the way I can talk to you about anything without worrying about consequences... your scent... all of it.”

 

“Just my scent?” Jensen asked after an awkward pause.

 

Jared shoved his shoulder, “Everything about you, you doofus!”

 

“Then come back, we’d love to have you back with us. I know I would.”

 

Jared glanced at the alpha, “You mean it?”

 

“Of course,” Jensen shrugged, “The choice is yours, Jared. It always has been... just... uhm... if you do plan to leave again, make sure the kids know that you’re not leaving them. That you’ll always be there for them,”

 

Jared nodded, “I’ll talk to my parents.”

 

“Yeah?”

 

He nodded, “But maybe I should finish out my year first, I mean it’s only like a month more.”

 

Jensen hummed.

 

“And I have one condition,”

 

“Seriously?”

 

Jared nodded.

 

“Okay, let’s hear it first then,”

 

“I’m going to stop seeing my therapist-” He raised a hand to hold off any arguments, “She’s a nice lady, but she’s not helping. Besides, it’s not like I was seriously traumatised or something... I mean, yeah; not something I want a repeat of, but apart from my time in the TOC itself, it wasn’t all that bad.”

 

Jensen nodded.

 

“So you’ll no longer have to pay that money. ... and the amount you’re putting up for my fund... it’s uh... it’s accessible once I graduate next month, right?”

 

Jensen nodded again.

 

“Good,” Jared murmured, “I’m gonna give it back to you. “Will that be enough to get back our old home? ... Uhm... okay, maybe not the exact same place, because you know... _memories_... but yeah, something like that?”

 

“I’m not taking your money!”

 

“Yes, you are. And hear me out, okay? I don’t want that money because if I’m with you, you’re going to take care of my expenses, right? And I’m going to take a little break till the twins are a little bit older, then get back to academics... and if I can get a scholarship...” he shrugged, “So see? I don’t need that money. Besides, this way you’re still spending it for something _I_ want.  What do you think? Is that going to work?”

 

“Yeah,” Jensen agreed, “It’ll work.  And uh ... I’ve been saving up as well. And if we sell this place, that’s going to give us something too.... so yeah, money’s not going to be an issue.”

 

“Awesome!” Jared beamed.

 

“You’re really coming back?” He breathed in disbelief.

 

Jared nodded, “Everybody has to come home some time or the other, Jensen.”

 

Jensen’s eyes widened, “Did you just-?”

 

“Yeah, I did. You’re my home, Jen.” Jared grinned, “And I love you too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that's it- the end of this tale. Hope you guys enjoyed it. And a huge shout-out to all those who waited years for it's completion. Thank you so much, you're all awesome!
> 
> I do have an idea for a time stamp set a few years in the future for this verse (which is why I'm not marking it 'completed' as yet), but the story is finished as of now. And I make no promises about if and when I will be writing that timestamp.   
> Cheerio!


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